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Voice Coaches Radio #604 – We’re All Worrying…

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Hey, welcome to a brand new episode of Voice Coaches Radio. My name is Marissa. Finding you, it is the beginning of October already. Spooky season is upon us. Uh, I, I still don't really know where I'm going to be for Halloween. Trying to figure that out with my girlfriend to be honest. Uh, we want to do something, but I don't.

I don't know. Everybody's gonna be Barbie, right? Like, that's just, we know that, right? Like, that's not even a thought, uh, on my mind right now to be Barbie, just because, like, I don't want to do what everybody else is doing. I'm not that much of a follower, I'm gonna be honest. Uh, but, you know, uh, there's probably a lot of different, uh, versions of Barbie that you can be, so, I mean, maybe.

We'll see. I am, uh, creating a home gym right now, and I may have talked about this before, but You know, a little do it yourself project. I've been like slowly working on it because obviously I'm pretty busy, but I wanted to get it kind of set because I mean, this is a room that has no circulation of heat by any means.

So I had to go and do all the insulation of it. I put sheetrock up. I did the taping job. It probably could have been done a little bit better, but you know, it's my first go at it, you know, I can always fix it. I think, right? Uh, so. Then it was like, well, how do we want to decorate it? Right? Because like, it's not fully Sheetrocked yet.

There's one wall that goes against my basement that there's still some of the house siding on I got to take down to do that But you know, most of it is done and it's like so I was just like, all right we got to figure out how we want this and I just It came down to it was going to be Barbie themed, so I know because we do love the Barbie movie in this house, uh, and, uh, so it is literally hot pink.

It is Barbie pink, like that pink of the box that you think of, that is the color of the walls in that space. And, you know, because I did the trim around the windows, a lighter version of pink, like, it's like you walk into a cartoon and it might be my most fun room in the house. I thought it was always going to be my studio.

Now I think it's going to be the gym. And man, nothing makes me want to work out more than a fun room like that. So I'm doing it right. That is for sure. I just hope it doesn't get too cold in there because I just, I worry about that. And I realized too, you know, just talking to some students recently and just people in the industry, we all.

We all have the same worry, eh, when it comes down to starting in this business, we all have the same things that bounce around in our head. And could I tell you how awful we are to ourselves? Oh my god! Like, it's, it's insane, uh, how much we talk down to ourselves. You know, we think about bullying. We always think it's somebody else that is, you know, going to have that huge impact on us.

In reality, we are our own worst bully, you know? And, and I've realized that for a while, um, but it is just, you know, right in the forefront for me now. But when I was doing... Uh, the life coaching stuff more frequently, you know, just the conversations that I would have with people, I just started to realize how awful we are to ourselves in so many ways, you know, whether it's looking at ourselves in the mirror and being like, oh, you're ugly.

You're just, you're so awful. You look at, look at those bags under your eyes, you know, like, uh, you know, you can't pull that off, you know, it like, it's just like things like that. You know, and how awful we are, just in, you know, that kind of way, and then we think about dreams, and aspirations, and so many people don't get into the field they want to, because they've potentially talked themselves out of it.

Oh, I can't do that. I would love to be an actor, but I, I could never get on a stage and do that. Really? Never? You couldn't do that? If you want to do it, you can do it, like, for real, like, that's, that's what I hate. Um, it's bad enough when other people talk you out of things, right? But it's even worse when you do it to yourself.

I could have easily done that, uh, you know? It's like when I started in, in, um, when I started in life, uh, No, I was incredibly shy, I've talked about this, you know? And, and this is a, a field that, Seemed like an impossible reach it seemed like it like I was just never going to be able to Allow myself to get there and you know being made fun of growing up or being let down by the people around you consistently, um, you know being I don't know lack of trust or You know, you go and you, you do something that you think people are going to find funny or enjoy and then you, they make fun of you for it, you know, or put you down, uh, you know, like those, those things, I had it happen over and over and over and over again, uh, growing up and I think that's why for, like, the longest time for me, it was like, I could be comfortable and be my most authentic self to the people I trusted the most.

So it's like my very close inner circle, my family. Uh, but that was pretty much it. You know, I, I did not trust the general public, if you will. And, and then I just started to just, I don't know, slowly not, Not give a crap, uh, I think, you know? And, and I wanted to do what I wanted to do. And, you know, I tried to kind of play around with stuff when I was in high school.

But I, again, it was just, it's high school, so it was tough. And then I got into college and, you know, I went, I was doing my backup plan, really. But I was still in the arts. And, and I was like, you know what? I gotta do something. I gotta do something that's gonna push me in the right direction. And it's gonna open me up, it's gonna allow me.

To stop being so scared, uh, you know, to stop telling myself I can't, and, and show myself that I can, and, you know, little by little, it's like I, I slowly, you know, open the door for myself, you know, and it took me taking acting classes, I took acting one, I took acting two, what did that do, it, it got me being more Um, Mentally creative, uh, you know, physically creative on a stage and, and got me in front of people and doing things that I, I typically wouldn't do, you know, it was kind of like public speaking, but not, uh, I wanted to take public speaking, but they wouldn't let me.

That was a whole episode of a podcast not long ago. I wish I could. You know, go and talk to whoever, uh, gets the curriculums together for, for different, uh, you know, um, majors and stuff. Because I don't know how that is not one for everybody, but it apparently was not for me. Uh, so, that's why I really did start diving into the acting stuff.

I thought it was the closest thing to it. And then I did, I like auditioned for a couple plays, and I did television production, so it got me in front of a camera, and behind the scenes a little bit, and ended up at a radio school, and man, did it just take off from there. Uh, but, you know, it really took me starting to slowly tell myself I can rather than I can't.

We have a very easy time. Telling ourselves that we can't so it's really changing that from I can't to I can and I'm going to you know, and the self doubt is is, is awful. It's an awful feeling, you know, because really, you know, I'm a firm believer and it sounds so cliche, but you really can do anything that you put your mind to.

It's the actions to go along with it that make it happen. And if you don't put the action into it, then, you know, okay, then no, you can't. Then you can't do it. But in reality, you can. You're really going to be the only person that holds yourself back. Uh, so. You know, I was talking about this with somebody the other day, where I, I had a little bit of this, right, like maybe about a year and a half ago.

Here I am, full time coach for voice coaches, and, and I'm just going about life and slowly rebuilding, um, you know, with the pandemic and whatnot, and I'm doing all this extra work on the side, and everything in me was like, alright, this side work is what's next, I can feel it, like it's gonna be what's next, and then I got to this point where I was doing so much on the side that You know, my body, it just was kind of giving up on me because I was just overworking it.

It was like two and a half full time jobs. And I, I knew that the next step then was to pull back on coaching, right? So go from five, six days a week to two, but that is a risk. And I'm over here going, Oh God, but what if it doesn't work out? What, what if I stumble at some point and I lose some of this work?

What, what if I get a gig and they don't like me? You know, what if they change their mind? Then that money's gone. You know, can I really do this? These are the questions that we all ask ourselves in, in that next step. And I asked myself all those same questions, but it was a risk that I had to take on myself.

Just like this is a risk that you've got to take on yourself if you really want to do it. And I think what you've got to remember, again, it is changing the I can't to I can. And then proving it to yourself by putting the work in. It's the work of the skill development. It's the work of the relationship building.

It is the work of finding the work, you know, to audition for and then to, to really Do what you can to knock that audition out of the park, you know, get those gigs, get that job and then keep Proving it to yourself over and over again that yeah, I can do this. Let the confidence build from there Take the feedback that you get, run with it.

Let it, let it allow you to grow, you know You can do any of this You've gotta tell yourself you can. And I think that's the biggest thing. We have so much self doubt. We do so much self talking down. Uh, you know, and that is where it is a retraining of how you speak to yourself. And how you treat yourself that can allow you to soar.

So please, if you're gonna go into this weekend and start any of this stuff when it comes to voiceover or anything, tell yourself that you can. Because... I know you can. It's just a matter of you believing it too. Uh, if you've got something that you want us to discuss here on the pod, you gotta let us know.

All right. [email protected]. Another episode of Voice Coaches Radio is gonna be coming at you next week, and I hope you have a fantastic weekend. Stay safe everybody.

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This week on Voice Coaches Radio, Marissa tackles the topic that comes up all the time: we’re worried. All of us, all the time. We question ourselves, we put ourselves down, tell ourselves we’re not good enough or can’t do things. It’s worthy of chatting about it from time to time to remember, we actually CAN do this.